I thought I had always been committed to a healthy conscious lifestyle. Although I have learned that living consciously is actually a spectrum; we navigate through many levels as we learn and grow. This journey my body has taken me on, has showed me that self-work requires constant attention. Your bottom-line will always grow as long as you remain curious and invite growth into your life.
It was a little over a year ago when I took a job at Wellness On Whyte that was more stable and aligned with what I was searching for in terms of finding something that was more purposeful in my life. Initially this was a scary endeavor for me, because I aim to present my most authentic self to anything that I attach my name to. I was battling with some anxiety, because I felt my health was crumbling among a space of flourishing individuals. With my health in the place it was, I was scared to let Wellness On Whyte and Geha down. At the same time I felt the significance of the opportunity in my gut. The stars aligned and it felt very serendipitous. How couldn’t I jump in? The irony brought forward by that comment is that at that time I could not jump, I could not bend down, I could barely go up and down stairs. Sometimes I had a hard time driving, I couldn’t push my pedal well or move my leg back and forth from gas to brake. My body was screaming at me to wake up.
And so the transformation began….
Over the next year being present in a growth-inspiring environment, had allowed me to come to some realizations about myself. Finally I felt comfortable to reflect on the shadows and the skeletons in the closet. I had days where I slipped into the rabbit hole and days where I could not retrieve words because my cognitive self was very effected by the disease in my body. I was looking for my quick fix and diagnosis. I sure received it from general practitioners and the rheumatologist. I was given a diagnosis that I didn’t align with. My treatment plan was to start on weekly injections of a very strong drug. Even though we had no idea what was really going on. I wanted so badly to identify with it so I could start to work on a recovery. As my journey would have it, the self-realization of not identifying with a diagnosis or disease was actually a gift.
I learned a lot about myself over the coming months as I refused the treatments and started on homeopathic medicine and many other alternative remedies (diet, acupuncture, massage, heart math and Ayurvedic treatments). Once I had allowed the fear and the urgency of finding a diagnosis to dissipate, I created more room for healing. I finally started to feel content as my symptoms gradually alleviated. The diagnosis wasn’t as important for me as time went on because I didn’t need to align and identify with whatever was happening. I needed to HEAL. Hear my spirit. Fall in love with me.
On my journey I have learned the importance of having the courage to be content with natural vulnerability, and to embrace it in the pursuit of healing. I am happy to say, I am well on my way to a healthy version of what I want my body to be. I am listening to my spirit everyday and I do that by living a mindful life and surrounding myself with people who see and love me for who I am. My experience has revealed how important it is to challenge our fears with love.
We all hold the power to our very own transformations: little or extraordinary.
Tacey is the Director of Wellness on Whyte