In the beginning it was a war and I was unprepared. Unprepared for how quickly the Psoriasis spread, how painful it was, and how friends, family, and strangers started treating me differently. I could see the suppressed horror on their faces when they saw the red, scaling patches coalescing up my arms and legs. Their faces only mirrored and solidified how horrified and helpless I felt against this raging disease. There was no consolidation I could muster for them or for myself. I was drowning in inflammation and there was nowhere to hide, no mercy, or white flag.

I was 18 and 87% of my body was covered in psoriasis. I was committed to the hospital right from my first appointment with the Dermatologist. Her face with obvious concern looking at my bloated, exfoliating, and bleeding legs. “The inflammation and swelling have gone too far, you need to be hospitalized immediately.” The severity of the situation settling in between me and my mother as she pushes me down the hall in a wheelchair because I was not allowed to walk. This isn’t just a skin disease, this is a battle and I was on the losing end.

For years, I felt cursed. I must have done something wrong to have deserved this. No treatment I was being given had sustainable results. I’ll always remember my last appointment with my defeated Dermatologist, she truly did everything in her power to help. There were no more topical steroids, pills, or injections left in her arsenal. I was on my own.

At this point, even though I seemed helpless, I always remember feeling like one day, this will be over. One day I will find a cure and I will find relief. Now, it was up to me to take up the fight and I turned to “the alternative”.

It all started at an old monastery turned into a retreat held by a Naturopath on an Eastern bay in Canada. I stayed there for 10 days with two other people. We listened to his lectures on healthy diet and lifestyle as we sipped on decoctions meant to detox our organ systems. I was soaking in every bit of information like a sponge. Finally! I was equipped with some knowledge and fighting power against the red invasion. I was spurred onward by the passion to help myself and hopefully help other people. Thirteen years later and six years of schooling I’m a Certified Holistic Nutritionist, Registered Massage Therapist, and a Doctor of Chinese Medicine. This doesn’t mean that I’m at the end of my journey holding the holy grail to clear skin. What I can say is that I’ve collected enough applicable knowledge along the way, empowering myself against this skin condition I initially felt so helpless against. There were still times when I gave up and just watched as the disease claimed more territory. Too exhausted to take up the fight again.

Recently though my outlook has changed. In 2016 I was a first year in my Acupuncture program and discovered the TCM Dermatology Diploma program. I dreamed of the day I would be able to sign up for this and learn how to treat a range of skin diseases with Chinese herbs. July of 2022 the stars aligned, and I was on my way to New York City, the first time I’ve ever traveled outside of Canada. To say I was excited to finally take this program in the city where dreams are made of was an understatement! Learning about each individual herb and their complexities as you design a formula to counter a clients dermatological symptoms is a true form of art, I’m obsessed. Not only has my pilgrimage led me to something that sparks joy and endless curiosity, but nothing has ever had this kind of effect on clearing my skin.

Now, I feel committed and rejuvenated. I’m fully here for myself and I’m listening. Dear skin this Is a message to you. I’m sorry that I ever saw your cries for help as a personal attack. I understand this was never meant to be a battle or a war against you. I was only fighting myself. I hear you when I need to take more rest, when I consume something that hurts my body, and when you’re feeling neglected. I want to thank you for the journey you’ve brought me on. I wouldn’t be the person I am today, and I wouldn’t have found this career that I love without you. My curse turns to a blessing and I continue on my journey feeling a sense of unition and empowerment. I’m putting my trust in you to keep leading me on the path of healing. I honour and respect the wisdom of my body. I got you. We got this.